I have had such a hard time wrestling with the thoughts and feelings of the state of things. I want to help, I want to speak, but I have never felt my voice is one to be heard. I am a person of mixed color and culture. I am half white and half Polynesian, but I just don’t feel like I have room in this conversation. This is something I’ve struggled with for the whole time I’ve been watching the Black Lives Matter movement.

My experience is different

The racism and privilege I’ve experienced isn’t to any degree that many others have experienced. I know that I have experienced privilege in my life, but I’m not convinced its only from my white side of the family. I am also not convinced the hardship I’ve faced is from the Poly side either.

I work at a mission agency. We send US Christians into the world. Some places with such hardship, such pain, and the reality of genocide. The governments around the world are so corrupt and evil; the value of human life doesn’t exist. In this battle we face here in the States, I want to maintain a global perspective and heart.

No person’s suffering negates another’s suffering.

I am so incredibly heartbroken over the loss of lives that were based solely on the color of skin. I am outraged to see authority treat human beings in such horrible ways. Our country is dealing with tragedy upon tragedy. I am so sad to see the level of hate and rage on both sides. I am so sad to see that in this horrible time of COVID-19, there is more suffering that is being put on so many people. I am so disheartened to see the defensiveness of people I know, extreme actions and statements from people I love.

Other people’s suffering doesn’t negate your suffering. Humanity is suffering. We can all mourn and be sad with all of the world. Jesus wept for the suffering of others too.

What we need to guard ourselves from is letting guilt and shame and anger rule over our lives. White friends and family, mourn with those who mourn, but don’t succumb to the shame the world is throwing at you. There is nothing good that is built out of shame. Be humble, be listeners. Friends and family of color, there is a need for justice and I pray we can all fight together. Let your fight be purposeful and fueled by righteous zeal for justice. Justice for you and those like you. Be an advocate for change.

Love in Action

God is at work! I don’t think there is any doubt about that. I don’t think we have the full picture of what it is he is doing. I am choosing to ask God each day for what I should be doing. How can I be his hands and feet while my arm span is cut so short?

Let’s all take time to reflect on what we are seeing, praying into and for the injustices we are witnessing and move forward in love and faith of the authority of Christ Jesus. There is freedom in what he calls you to. May we respond in obedience.

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
    I will pay them back,”
    says the Lord.

20 Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
    If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
    burning coals of shame on their heads.”

21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Romans 12:9-21